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1. |
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It started when my mom had a middle aged crisis
Should have seen a shrink, left to her own devices
She decided she would rock just like me
Now she's embarrassing herself for all to see
Chorus:
We're the
CheeseBergens coming to your town
In a broken down school bus
CheeseBergens coming to your town
And the Partridge family has nothing on us
I know you think my sister's cute but oh guess what
Take my word for it, she's a freakin' nut
My dad is kind of cool but sometimes he's a bummer
I guess that that's okay because he's just the drummer
Chorus
For me, I guess it's kind of cool to play some music
Though it's kind of a drag with the parental units
Still I'm gettin' out and gettin' all my kicks
Though it's kind of impossible to pick up chicks
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2. |
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There used to be a time my mother would go out a lot
Now she likes to sit home on the couch all night and rot
But now I'm getting older
and me and my big bro
Rock and roll all nite when
We go out to the shows
My mother she just says that
She's too tired for that crap
So she crawls behind the bar
And she goes to take a nap
She says
It's hard to get your kicks
When you're waking up at six
Call her old, call her a poseur
But just wake her, oh wake her, wake her, when the show is over
Well we have seen Black Sabbath, The Rolling Stones and more
But every time she just ends up passed out on the floor
It's a bit embarrassing
Some people stop and stare
Don't think that we're not tempted
To just leave her there
But our options are limited
You see she's really it
And if people ask she makes us say
She moshed out in the pit
She says
It's hard to get your kicks
When you're waking up at six
Call me old, call me a poseur
But just wake, oh wake me, wake me when the show is over
Well it used to be she didn't even wake up until noon
And didn't leave her house until the rising of the moon
But now that kind of living well it's showing her no mercy
Especially when she is having dinner at 4:30.
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3. |
Cool
02:59
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When my temp's at 85 it's like I got a fever
I'm so cool andre 3000 keeps me in his freezer
I'm so cool in 1968 you'd call me groovy
I'm so cool that I wear my sunglasses to the movies
I'm so cool that I think that everything is lame
I'm so cool that irony is my middle name
Deleted me on Facebook now that it's run by the man
I had to put it back up due to popular demand
Because I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cooler than you
Oh yeah I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cooler than you
Because I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cooler than you
Oh yeah, I'm cooler that you and baby you know that it's true
I'm so cool that even Kanye has to say I'm great
I'm so cool I'm banned in 29 of 50 states
I'm so cool that recently I've had to lay to rest
Rumors of my pregnancy my marriage and my death
Because I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cooler than you
Oh yeah I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cooler than you
Because I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cooler than you
Oh yeah, I'm cooler that you and baby you know that it's true
I'm so cool I never break a sweat during the summer
I'm so cool Verizon doesn't even have my number
I'm so cool I have a section reserved at the Met
But it's always unoccupied cause I ain't been there yet
Because I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cooler than you
Oh yeah I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cooler than you
Because I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cooler than you
Oh yeah, I'm cooler that you and baby you know that it's true
I'm so cool that Arthur Fonzarelli thinks I'm gifted
And I give to charities you never knew existed
I'm so cool I have been known to call my mother man
I'm so cool that I don't even know how cool I am.
Because I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cooler than you
Oh yeah I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cooler than you
Because I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cooler than you
Oh yeah, I'm cooler that you and baby you know that it's true
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4. |
Stupid Punk Song
02:15
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I wanna write a stupid punk song
I wanna go to all the punk rock shows
And talk about the bands that no one knows
I wanna write a stupid punk song
I wanna write a stupid punk song
And drink a forty on a Saturday
In the mosh pit at a matinee
I wanna write a stupid punk song
I'll write a punk song cause I'm violent and bored
I'll write a punk song cause I know least four cords
I'll just get out my guitar and I'll play
My stupid punk song, all freakin day
I wanna write stupid punk song
About a girl I think is really cute
Who has a mohawk and wears combat boots
I wanna write a stupid punk song
I wanna write a stupid punk song
About how much I hate my mom and dad
Although the truth is that they ain't that bad
I wanna write a stupid punk song
I'll write a punk song cause I'm angry and young
I'll write a punk song and they'll all think I'm dumb
And all the punks they can all mosh and pogo
And even though it punk, it's gonna have a solo
I wanna write a stupid punk song
And you can tell me that it's dumb and lame
But at least I have something to play
Even if it's a just stupid punk song
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5. |
Boogie Man
02:55
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The boogieman's under my bed
A spider's right above my head
And there's a vampire in my closet for some blood
And I'm not real sure what they're doing
But I think there's trouble brewing
And I tell you one thing their up to no good
Oh well I'm sure I'll be alright
But when these things bump in the night
You know it sure scares the bejeezus out of me
I know I'm sure it don't behoove me
To watch all those scary movies
On the KIndle right before I go to sleep
Hey there Boogieman I think I got a plan
How about you leave me be
Perhaps an aberration of my imagination
But you're not gonna boogie with me
Oh well I think I heard a noise
And then my mother gets annoyed
She says it's only the house settling in the night
And though I sure want to believe her
There's no doubt it's the grim reaper
And there's no way everything will be alright
Well there's my mom I'll try to wake her
So I just get up and shake her
There's a mask that's on her face that is bright green
It seems her breath slightly offends
And all her hair stands its end
She has to be scariest thing I've ever seen
Chorus
And so she stumbles out of bed
I see her eyes are bloodshot red
And I know that this surely spells impending doom
If I choose one that scares me most
It probably won't be the ghost
Next time I'll take my chances in my room
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6. |
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Some dudes moved in to our neighborhood
Wearing trucker hats that read 'Hollywood'
There's Mr. Park My Prius Just As Bad As I Can
Paul Giamatti and Social Cause Stan
Prius talking 'bout Alaska, how he volunteered
While he's cooking tofu or something weird
Paul is so loud even Steve Jobs can hear
And we can't decide if causes is Clark Kent or just queer
... Not that there's anything wrong with that.
The hipsters downstairs
The hipsters downstairs
Nobody cares about
The hipsters downstairs
The hipsters downstairs
The hipsters downstairs
With their stupid facial hair
The hipsters downstairs
They rise at sunset stay up all night
They just might be hipster vampires
Or more likely a werewolf for Paul with that beard
Nervous Nod causes could be Frankenweird
Apparently guitar is now the thing
They murder it all night, let's hope that they don't sing
And if I hear 'In Alaska' one more time
I'm gonna stick that guitar where the sun don't shine
Chorus
They threw a party last weekend
They camped out in the yard
It wasn't them throwing bottles I feared
But bustin' out with Kubaya
Some dudes moved in to our neighborhood
Wearing trucker heads that read 'Hollywood'
There's Mr. Park My Prius just as bad as I can
Paul Giamatti and Social Cause Stan
And if I hear 'In Alaska' one more time
I'm gonna stick that guitar where the sun don't shine
Or maybe call an Uber and tell the man
"Take 'em back to Alaska or Douchebagistan"
Chorus
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7. |
I Wore Red To Target
03:12
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I wore red to Target
Not the best idea
I wore red to Target
And everybody near
Asked me "do you work here?"
Said "can you help me miss?"
Come on don't you know
I can't take much more of this
Guess I was asking for it
Cause look what I started
Had it coming to me when
I wore red to Target
Tried hiding in the bathroom
I thought that would be safer
'Til someone said "hey miss
We're out of toilet paper!"
If one more person bugs me
I swear I'll flip my lid
This woman came up to me
And that's just what she did
Guess I was asking for it
Cause look what I started
Had it coming to me when
I wore red to Target
I could have gone to another market
I could have worn blue or green
But I had to go to Target tell me what did it mean
Did it mean did it mean
Did it mean did it mean
I made up some fake discounts
I gave her wrong directions
I told her there were frying pans
In the electronics section
Then I felt so much better
And everything was fine
Until when I discovered
I was in back of her on line
Guess I was asking for it
Cause look what I started
Had it coming to me when
I wore red to Target
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8. |
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I don't want to do my homework today
My mom will probably kill me
I don't care what she say
I know she'll probably kill me
Luke and Lea
Dragon slayers
Rock n' roll and
XBox consoles
My mom will probably kill me
Today
I don't wanna go to school today
My mom will probably kill me
I don't care what she say
I know she'll probably kill me
Surf the net
TV set
I just wanna
Listen to Nirvana
My mom will probably kill me
Today
I don't wanna be good today
My mom will probably kill me
I don't care what she say
I know she'll probably kill me
Guess I'm just
Misunderstood
If I'm bad or
If I'm good
My mom will probably kill me
Today
I know she'll probably kill me
Anyway
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9. |
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Lemmy he don't really walk on water
But he just might sleep with your daughter
And gonna save your soul
He might save rock n' roll
He came to earth on a motorcycle
And when he did he chose he disciples
Then they went to rehearsal
Philthy Phil and Wurzel
What would Lemmy do? 3x
Whatever he'd do, he'd do it better than you
Lemmy will save us from terrorist attacks
With just a pipe and a shot of Jack
He don't use no nukes
He wears his Daisy Dukes
And Lemmy he might never make it to heaven
He's got a Marshall amp that goes to 11
Try nailing him to a cross
And he'll tell you to get lost
What would Lemmy do? 3x
Whatever it is, he'll do it better than you
But Lemmy's he's a good man
He'll give you the shirt off his back
He can make the starving a feast
From a burger and a shot of Jack
And when he speaks wisdom comes
That is so true so amazing
It frees your soul though you'd admit
You've no freakin' clue what he's sayin'
Lemmy wasn't born in 4 BC
It was a few years later you see
And now he's living in sin
With Mary Magdalene
And there was no immaculate conception
He's probably on his 3rd resurrection
He's coming back from the dead
To tour with Motorhead
What would Lemmy do? 3x
Whatever it is he'd do it better than you.
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10. |
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I hoped they wouldn't notice but
My friends suspicion's roused
They ask me why I never let them
Come play at my house
It looks as if I may have to
Invite them to my home
And pray dad doesn't greet then when
He's wearing his black robe
The coast is clear they wonder what
The worry on my face meant
When suddenly a chanting starts
To rise up from the basement
Why can't I be a normal kid
It's so much less complex
To say I think it's just my mom
And father having sex
My mother says "I guess I just
Don't get your generation"
And that's what life is like when mom
And daddy worship Satan.
And before I know it they
Are running to explore
And follow the odd noises that
Are coming from the floor
And soon they find my parents
In their favorite recreation
Conjuring up spirits in
An evil incantation
And daddy says "Oh visitors
Well isn't that just nice?"
I hope he doesn't think them virgins
To be sacrificed
But mom ignores my gestures and
She sports an evil grin her
Mouth waters as she says "We're happy
To have you for dinner!"
I fear they will accept her offer
And agree to stay
Do they not know she means to have them
As the main entree?
I'm just about to tell them run
But briefly I think twice
A break from eye of newt and toe
Of frog would sure be nice
My mother says "I guess I just
Don't get your generation"
And that's what life is like when mom
And daddy worship Satan.
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11. |
Do It With Cheese
03:40
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There really ain't no other way I like to grill it
When I get some frozen patties in my skillet
I'm down to eat a salad or scarf up grease
But there's just one way to serve it that's gonna please
I don't care if it's in slices or an easy squeeze
Just do it- but do it with cheese!
Now you might say your lactose intolerant
But I say just suck it up or you can go get bent
Cause if your tummy hurts then I say "oh please!"
Go wash it down with Tums or some anti freeze
Theres just one way to serve it that's gonna please
Just do it - but do it with cheese!
When they see me comin' they don't need to guess
If I want some cheese with that cause the answer is yes
I need the gooey stuff and that's for sure
And I don't care if it's costing me 50 cents more
Cheese is the stuff of life and you can't refute
If you think you're gaining weight then stop eating fruit
Cause life is too short to sweat the calories
So you best start clogging up all those arteries
Live fast and die of cardiovascular disease
Just do it - but do it with cheese!
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